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Series:
Vision - Where MHCC is heading in 2007 |
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Back in 2000, Robert Putnam wrote a book called Bowling Alone: The Collapse and Revival of American Community. In it he set out to show (from years of study) something that we probably already know by feel: Most of us are less connected to friends, family, church, and the rest of the community than people were in our parents’ day, in our grandparents’ generation.
“Television, two-career families, suburban sprawl, generational changes in values--these and other changes in American society have meant that fewer and fewer of us find that the League of Women Voters, or the United Way, or the Shriners, or the monthly bridge club, or even a Sunday picnic with friends fits the way we have come to live. Our growing social-capital deficit threatens educational performance, safe neighborhoods, equitable tax collection, democratic responsiveness, everyday honesty, and even our health and happiness.” (New York: Simon and Schuster, 2000).
Putnam seizes on the image of bowling to make his point. He says that a generation or two ago, people who liked to bowl were likely to join a bowling league. Now, he says, those folks are mostly bowling alone. We’re living out the picture drawn by Yogi Berra who said that if you don’t go to someone’s funeral, they probably won’t come to yours.
Last Sunday we began to talk about the vision we believe God has for MHCC, and we laid a foundation by talking about integrity. We said that we can’t get where God wants us to go, not in our personal lives, not in work, not in dating, and not with his church, if we violate his principles to get there. We said that the most direct path to where we want to go is rarely the best path, in matters of integrity (though it probably is in driving). We talked about David, who during a time when he was on the run from King Saul, even though he had already been anointed king and had been promised (by God) the throne of Israel, refused to violate the Law of God, the Principles of God and the Wisdom of God to get there. We committed to follow his example.
Today we’re going to start talking about the vision itself, not by looking (yet) at programs or ministries or numbers, but at an attitude – one that needs adjusted because it’s a way of thinking that holds us back. Bowling alone illustrates the attitude…
Individualism
John Wayne – how many of you like him a lot? Why is that? Strength? Character? The fact that he doesn’t mind smacking a man upside the head? How much of your admiration is due to his individualism? He is the old-school symbol of individualism – JW the character, the man in the movies, not the real man. While he might have a romantic relationship in some town that he’s visiting, while he might have a grudging friendship along the trail, he’s a rugged individual – self-sufficient, strong, hard-as nails, and he doesn’t need anyone. That seems great. If you don’t need anyone and don’t really care about anyone, you can’t get hurt by anyone.
Jack Bauer is the symbol for today. JB is a counter-terrorist agent on 24, and he has sacrificed every relationship in his life for his work of stopping terrorists from attacking the United States. In season 3, a terrorist handed Jack a gun and told him to kill his partner. JB, to make a convincing case for his fake loyalty to the terrorist, put a gun to his partner’s head and pulled the trigger. The gun was empty. Later Jack told his partner that he had made a calculated risk that the terrorist wouldn’t have given him a loaded gun, but then he went on to say that even if he had, even if JB had killed his own partner, Jack would have continued to do the job, because saving the U. S. from the terrorist threat was the most important thing. Needless to say, every friendship with Jack is temporary, and every romance is doomed to fail. But that’s OK because he can take care of himself. He doesn’t need anybody.
There is something attractive about that lifestyle, where real strength is found inside oneself. If you don’t need anyone, you’re strong, and if you’re strong, you don’t need anyone.
But the Bible consistently teaches the opposite. Alone, we are weak. Together we become strong. So when the attitude is individualism the attitude adjustment is community.
It begins with God. On the one hand, He is one. “Hear O Israel, the Lord our God, the Lord is One.” That’s a tenet of our faith. But as God reveals Himself further, we find that God is Three-in-One, God in three persons, Father, Son, and Holy Spirit, blessed Trinity, and the Three exist in fellowship with One Another.
It continues with God’s actions. In Genesis 12, God chose one man, Abraham, to be God’s man. But he really didn’t choose Abraham to be by himself, but rather to father a great nation with descendants more numerous than the stars, and this nation would be God’s own people. So throughout the OT, God’s people exist not as rugged individuals in relationship with God, but as a nation, bound together, lifting each other up when things are right, pulling each other down when things are wrong, enjoying the benefits or paying the consequences together.
Now in our times we speak often of a personal relationship with Jesus Christ, and that IS an idea that you’ll find in the NT, but not in exactly those words, AND there is a stronger emphasis given to something else – a community relationship with Jesus Christ through the church. In 1 Corinthians 12:12-13 for example, Paul says this about the church: 1CO 12:12 The body is a unit, though it is made up of many parts; and though all its parts are many, they form one body. So it is with Christ. 13 For we were all baptized by one Spirit into one body…” Throughout that chapter, he draws a parallel between the church and a human body and he says that a hand is a pretty incredible tool, but only if it is attached to an arm, which BTW better be attached to a shoulder. Likewise there is this strong emphasis throughout the NT that we need each other.
Lots of teachers have highlighted all of the “one another” commands in Scripture – serve one another, love one another, forgive one another, etc. Rick Warren has done it, and as he often does, he brings it out in a straightforward and clear way:
“If you’re not having regular fellowship with other believers, you should seriously question whether or not you are really walking in the light…
“In fact, we can’t fulfill any of God’s purposes on our own – and spiritual maturity isn’t an exception. Trying to help your congregation become more Christ-like without developing the relationships within the church is like fighting an impossible battle.
“Unfortunately, our culture’s idolatry of individualism has influenced even the way we think about spiritual growth. So much of the teaching on spiritual formation is self-centered and self-focused, without any reference to our relationship to other Christians. This is completely unbiblical and ignores much of the New Testament.
“The truth is that Christians need relationships to grow. We don’t grow in isolation from others. We develop in the context of fellowship. Over and over again in the New Testament we find this basic truth: Believers need relationships with each other to grow! Hebrews 10:24-25 says, ‘Let us consider how we may spur one another on toward love and good deeds. Let us not give up meeting together, as some are in the habit of doing, but let us encourage one another ...’ God intends for us to grow up in a family…
“According to the New Testament, fellowship is not optional for a Christian. It is mandatory! Christians that are not connected in loving relationships with other believers are disobeying all the ‘one another’ commands given in God’s Word.
“John tells us that the proof that we are walking in the light is that we have fellowship with each other (1 John 1:7). If you’re not having regular fellowship with other believers, you should seriously question whether or not you are really walking in the light. Trying to walk in the light without fellowship with other believers is a futile activity.
“John goes even further to suggest that we ought to question whether we really are saved if we don’t love other believers. ‘We know that we have passed from death to life, because we love our brothers. Anyone who does not love remains in death.’ (1 John 3:14) If relationships with other believers are this important, why don’t we hear more emphasis on it in churches?
“The quality of your relationship to Christ can be seen in the quality of your relationship to other believers. ‘For anyone who does not love his brother, whom he has seen, cannot love God, whom he has not seen.’ (1 John 4:20) Notice that John says, ‘cannot.’ It is impossible to love God if you don’t love his children.” (From: Relationships are essential for spiritual growth, by Rick Warren from his weekly email to pastors on 1.10.7).
So the attitude that needs adjusted is individualism, and the adjustment is community. Here’s a fact: A church of isolated individuals is not a Biblical church. Such a church may be warm and welcoming when everyone gets together. It may have a great praise band and the teaching may be straight from the Bible, and it may have solid doctrine and a fantastic youth program. It may be a thoroughly American kind of church and it may even be just the kind of church you’re looking for, where people are friendly and everybody knows your name and they’re always glad you came. Nevertheless a church of isolated individuals is not a Biblical church.
That's why one of our seven expectations is that people build deep spiritual friendships through our small groups...
I went into a local bar a few years ago… I had a good reason. A friend was going there to get some things his father had left there. His dad was a regular at the bar, but he had been seriously ill and in the hospital for some time, and he had left some things at that bar so we went to get them. When my friend introduced himself, everyone said: “Oh, yeah! How is old ***? He’s a great guy, a fine man! Oh, he’s in the hospital? That’s too bad!” I found out something about the “Cheers” type of community that day. Everybody DID know his name, and they were always glad he came, and when he was there drinking with them there was a feeling of real community. But when he walked out the door, they forgot about him and when they heard he was having trouble, they did little more than raise a glass and wish him well.
Isn’t that how it is in church, too often? That is NOT the way a Biblical church works.
Instead, listen to this:
AC 2:44 All the believers were together and had everything in common. 45 Selling their possessions and goods, they gave to anyone as he had need. 46 Every day they continued to meet together in the temple courts. They broke bread in their homes and ate together with glad and sincere hearts, 47 praising God and enjoying the favor of all the people. And the Lord added to their number daily those who were being saved.
Then, just a few chapters later:
AC 4:32 All the believers were one in heart and mind. No one claimed that any of his possessions was his own, but they shared everything they had. 33 With great power the apostles continued to testify to the resurrection of the Lord Jesus, and much grace was upon them all. 34 There were no needy persons among them. For from time to time those who owned lands or houses sold them, brought the money from the sales 35 and put it at the apostles' feet, and it was distributed to anyone as he had need.
Now just think about the differences between the “Cheers” mentality and the church in Acts which is described as a Biblically functioning community. At Cheers, everybody knows your name, and they’re always glad you came, but when you walk out the door, no one really knows where you go or what you do or who you’re married to or how your kids are turning out, and they may not even think of you again until you walk back through the door. Maybe the best thing that can be said about that kind of community is what Billy Joel said many years ago: “They’re sharing a drink they call loneliness, but it’s better than drinking alone!”
In contrast, here are some marks of a Biblically functioning community:
Somebody knows your strengths, weaknesses, temptations, and troubles. Now at Cheers, everybody knows your name, and that might seem like Cheers has an advantage over church. But life at Cheers basically revolved around 8-9 people, and it was a fairly closed circle. But as we saw in Acts, the Lord adds to the number (daily?) those who are being saved, and a healthy church usually grows beyond the point where everybody knows everyone by name. Now maybe everyone here knows your name, but probably not. I’m always surprised by the number of people who don’t know my LAST name when they introduce me. But even if they do, that isn’t enough. You and I both need someone who knows what we’re good at and what we need to work on, what tempts us and what tends to drag us down and pull us away from God. I don’t need EVERYBODY to know these things, but someone should. And I need them to not just know these things but…here’s the second mark…
Somebody stands with you in the fight to be faithful.
PR
27:17 As iron sharpens iron,
so one man sharpens another.
ECC 4:12 Though
one may be overpowered,
two can defend themselves.
A cord of three strands is not quickly broken.
In the NT we’re told to love one another and build each other up and spur one another on to love and good deeds, all of which says that we need others, maybe not 50 people but 2 or 3 or 4 who know us well and will stand with us in the fight against that which tempts us or discourages us.
Now, what kind of community do you have if there are people who know your weaknesses and temptations and troubles, but they don’t stand with you? What you have is perhaps the very thing you experience at work or with your relatives…a group of busy-bodies who know enough to gossip about you and perhaps are anxious to see you fall. Do you think there are churches like that? Of course there are. We don’t want to be that way, and that’s why it isn’t enough to simply get in groups and share our problems. If we don’t mean to walk with one another through those troubles, we might be better off keeping them to ourselves. But in a Biblically functioning community, someone knows you deeply and they’re committed to standing with you in the fight to be faithful, comforting you when you need it, telling you you’re wrong when you’re wrong, asking you how the battle is going and where you need prayer and how you need help.
Now you might be saying: “That’s what the ministers are for, right? Giving me comfort, praying for me, providing me with the strength to stand…everything except telling me when I’m wrong!” And we HAVE accepted the idea that church is a place where we go to receive a service, just like you go talk to your lawyer and she guides you through the maze of the law, and you visit a mechanic and he worries about all the mechanical and electronic things in your car, you also go to church and if you attend enough, you kind of keep the ministers on retainer in case you need spiritual direction or strength.
Not in a Biblical community. In a church where things are right, you develop deep spiritual friendships with sisters and brothers who, because of their involvement in your life, can actually do a much better job standing with you than your minister can (and I DO hate to admit that).
Now that brings up one more feature of Biblical community, which should be obvious. Somebody knows you, somebody stands with you AND…
You do the same for them. I can see someone listening up to this point with their arms folded, thinking: “When is someone going to get busy and start doing this stuff for me?” But deep spiritual friendships work in two directions, and that is hard. I wish I could promise you that if you just try it, it will be easy, that you’ll go to a class and make a friend and you’ll talk easily and have lots in common and your kids will get along, and there won’t ever be any misunderstandings between you. But usually, deep spiritual friendships take time and effort and risk and forgiveness and repentance. You don’t microwave them, you slow-cook them in the crock-pot. I’m not trying to discourage you from making the effort – quite the opposite. I am trying to show you that if we’re going to continue to make this church more Biblical in the way we practice community, and if everyone is going to have some people who are THERE for them, it is partly up to you, and me and everyone who calls this their church family.
Two weeks from now, I plan to share with you some goals which we can measure, and one of them will have to do with the number of small groups we need to start in 2007 so that new people can find a place to develop these friendships. Small groups are home Bible fellowships, but they are also Sunday School classes, work-groups, and special-interest groups that are done with the purpose of putting folks together for deep spiritual friendships. If you have an idea for such a group that you would be interested in putting together, give me a call or send me an email and let’s talk about it.
Two special events in the next 9 days designed to put people together and start building deep spiritual friendships. Men’s breakfast Saturday, 1.20, 8a, Shoney’s. Women’s Tea next Monday, 1.22, 7p here. Come and connect.
A crazy idea: Next Sunday, everyone go to someone’s house to eat and meet others. Need:12-15 or more people with hospitality gifts to host and feed as many as you can. I don’t want this to be too pre-arranged where you invite over all your friends, and I don’t want it to be potluck. I would like for as many folks as possible to sign up at the Welcome Center to provide a meal (and indicate how many you can host) and then next Sunday we’ll have maps printed up and someone to help everybody find a place to eat and go for it. (can be pizza, pb & j, hot dogs). Now you can microwave those hot dogs, but not friendship, so this is just a start. But part of MHCC's job is to grease the wheels of relationships, so that's what we're doing here...
Years ago, Tony Campolo went to the funeral home for the funeral of a friend. When he got there, the place was empty except for the widow, and when he got up front and glanced in the casket, he realized it was the wrong guy and he was at the wrong funeral home. But this woman was so glad to see him and she said “Oh, you knew my husband?”
“Your husband was a wonderful man” he said, and he felt so badly about her being alone that he stayed for the service and even rode to the cemetery with her. But when everything was over, he said to her: “I have a confession to make. I didn't really know your husband.” “I know” she said. “I could tell. But you'll never know how much it meant to me to have you here with me today.”
In a time like this when we live so far from family and we move away from lifelong friends, we need the church family more than ever. That's what we're committed to building this year.
Morrison Hill Christian
Church
P.O. Box 59 - 1008 E. Race St.
Kingston, TN 37763 (865) 376-5205
