HOMOSEXUALITY
Before we answer these specific questions, we
need to address some perspectives Christians are "known for believing"
these days, but that the Bible does NOT say or endorse...
1) God does not "hate fags".
Sorry
to use that term, but I'm quoting a major "Christian" campaign.
2) The Bible does not
treat homosexuality as the ultimate sin.
That is, it does not put this sin in a category all it's own,
far worse in every way than murder, theft,
or any other sexual sin. Scroll down to "What God
says about Sodom" for more!
3) Sin and
same-sex attraction are deep and complicated issues.
Saying "It's Adam and Eve, not Adam and Steve" and
similar brainless slogans can only hurt and
will never help anyone, ever. To all Christians,
everywhere: please stop saying these, period.
Now we can begin...
How are Christians supposed to
feel about gays and lesbians?
This one's easy: the same way they
should feel about everyone else! Christians are supposed to
reach out in love and draw all people into a relationship with Christ that will
save them, transform them, and heal them (see Matthew
28:16-18). The Bible is clear that EVERYONE has sinned and
EVERYONE can be forgiven (see Romans 3:23).
The early church was made up of ALL kinds of ex-sinners, including people who
had been homosexually active (see 1 Corinthians 6:9-11).
The modern church should be full of ex-sinners--regardless of their particular
sins--as well. This passage, by the way, is one of many examples of how
the Bible treats homosexuality--as one of many sins, not in a class by itself.
Some Christians try to justify same-sex relationships and deny that they they are sinful, and many modern churches actually perform gay marriages and/or have gay ministers. Some Christians treat homosexuality as a sin far worse than any other sin, sexual or otherwise, and end up hating (or even abusing) those who struggle with same sex attraction. Both are mistakes. No sin (sexual or otherwise) can ever be justified (let alone endorsed!) just because God loves everyone and is willing to forgive any sin (see Romans 6). ALL SINS break God's law, require forgiveness, and need to be removed from our lives completely (see James 2:10). This includes homosexuality.
IS gay love a sin?
Short, simple answer: yes.
But as I said earlier, this issue is anything but simple...
While the Bible clearly condemns sexual activity between members of
the same sex (see Leviticus 18:22;
Genesis 13:13, 18:20-33, and 19:1-29;
1 Corinthians 6:9-10), it never talks about
the idea of being gay or
gay love. Some Christians see this as a
theological loophole that allows for true love and/or a marriage between two people
of the same sex. In a nutshell, they believe that:
1) God intentionally designed some people to be attracted to members of
their same sex.
2) Being whatever God created you to be is not sin, but obedience.
Therefore...
3) The passages in the Bible that
condemn homosexual activity only apply to heterosexuals
and idolaters--people who were
not designed by God to be gay, and...
4) As long as a relationship is based on love, it can't
be wrong. (More on that in a bit.)
Let's be frank, clear, and fair: IF these beliefs were true, then there really would be nothing wrong with "being gay" or "gay love"! The truth, however, is that both of these "concepts" are nothing more than carefully worded phrases, created to promote acceptance of a marginalized lifestyle.
There have always been a small percentage of people who are attracted to members of the same sex, and there have always been a percentage of those people who acted on that attraction. Throughout history, most cultures have rejected homosexuality and anyone who tried it. Many other cultures have tolerated, accepted, or even endorsed same sex relationships to a point, but the idea of people "being gay" (in the sense and to the extent that it's being promoted today) wasn't ever considered seriously until the last part of the 20th century, in Europe and America.
Why is being gay such a sin?
Biblically speaking, there actually is no such thing as "being gay" or "being
straight" in the modern sense of those phrases. There is nothing anywhere
in the Bible that indicates that God created some people to be attracted to
members of their own sex--which would mean that "being gay" is part of who/what
they are, and a natural part of what they do sexually. There is nothing in the
Bible that indicates that its teachings about love, relationships, and even
marriage can apply to same-sex relationships as well as heterosexual ones.
Biblically speaking, the only way people could "be gay" is in the same way
people can "be murderers" or "be liars" or "be gluttons" or "be" any other kind
of sinners. And the opposite is true, as well: the Bible never
claims that some people are "straight" or somehow immune from same-sex
attraction. In fact, if Jesus was
"tempted in every way, just as we are, yet was without sin" (see
Hebrews 4:14-16), that means Jesus was tempted with this sin at some
point, but rejected it without even thinking a truly sinful thought!
Bottom line: it's NOT a sin to be tempted in this way, but it IS a sin to dwell or act on these temptations. Therefore, to actually "come out" and claim same-sex attraction as a huge part of your core identity is to embrace a sinful lifestyle and worldview, and to ally oneself with others who do the same.
Why is being gay wrong,
because when you're in love, what's wrong with it?
Just about every fairy tale, Disney
movie, chick-flick, action movie, pop song, etc., assumes that "falling in love"
is pretty much the whole point of life. More and more, the media is
aggressively promoting the idea that everyone deserves to pursue "whomever they
are in love with" as one of four core values every American should agree on.
(The other three seem to be that physically harming someone else is wrong, hurting the
environment is wrong, and--ironically--telling someone else that they are wrong
is wrong.) This is obviously where this question came from, and it's a
great, honest question...
The Bible does speak of physical attraction, being in love, etc.; Song of Songs is pretty much ALL about that, though it does have some other symbolism. But the Bible consistently speaks of "true love" as something totally different than romantic love--even if the romantic love is completely intertwined in it.
Bottom line: Nearly all sexual sins involve some kind of intense attraction and/or romantic "love" (adultery is a prime example!), but falling in love with someone--anyone--does not make it somehow right to pursue a romantic and/or sexual relationship with them.
Why do gay people feel like they love each other--and believe that it's
OK--if it's wrong?
ALL sin feels "good" to the person who
sins. Period. Sure, it messes up your life in the long run, but it
feels and seems good at the time! The toddler who discovers that lying can
help him avoid being punished and even manipulate his parents soon learns to see
lying as a good thing, even if he knows it's wrong. The high school
teacher who leaves her husband and children for one of her youngest students
does so because she "loves" him and thinks she "has a right to be happy", not
because she wants to be known as a statutory rapist. Serial killers
usually find great pleasure in their craft. The list goes on.
Bottom line: Feeling or believing that one's desires or actions are right proves nothing either way. Any action or relationship--good or bad--that meets some of our basic physical and emotional needs feels good and right at the time. It's that simple.
How are you
supposed to react if a friend is "bi" and they like you? How do you treat
them?
First, don't panic. Second, don't try
to justify their sin or completely reject them because of it. Third, make
sure you are gentle but honest and firm about where you stand. Depending
on their personality, you may have to make sure you're not alone with them for a
while. But basically, you'd treat them like you'd treat someone of the
opposite sex that you cared about but were not attracted to in that way.
Make sure you pray for them, and get anyone you TOTALLY TRUST to pray for them as well (do NOT betray their trust by gossiping or telling someone who may gossip). Encourage them. Be patient with them. Basically, treat them like you'd treat any friend who was messing around with drugs, alcohol, tobacco, stealing, heterosexual (but unmarried) sex, or other things that could mess them up.
A few more related issues and scriptures...
Gay Couples in
the Bible?
There are some who claim that there actually
ARE several examples of God-endorsed gay relationships in the Bible, but people
are just too blind to see them. Supposed gay couples include David and
Jonathan and even Jesus and the apostle John. Below are some
scriptures that tell these men's stories; you can judge for yourself if these
relationships sound like "gay love" as modern culture promotes it. Also
note how both "couples" were continually surrounded by other people (including
David's wife). Also note that David and Jonathan's "covenant" included a
promise that their descendents would take care of each other, which is a promise
David kept by taking care of Jonathan's son Mephibosheth (2
Samuel 4:1-4 and all of 9).
1 Samuel 18-20 (David and Jonathan) The Gospel of John (e.g., John 21:20-25)
What God Says
About Sodom
The destruction of Sodom is a major issue in
the theological discussion of whether God hates homosexuality (sometimes called
"sodomy") more than any other sin and/or actually allows or endorses it.
Below are a few scriptures that deal with this issue; you will find them
consistent with the ideas presented above in that Sodom's homosexuality was a
major factor in why God destroyed it, but it was not the only factor
(other factors included not helping the poor!) and Jesus said it would
be even worse for those who lived in His day and rejected Him!
Genesis 13:13, 18:16-33,
and 19:1-29;
Ezekiel 16,
Matthew 10:15,
11:23;
Luke 17:29;
Romans 9:29;
and Jude 1:7